if u can go, go.

and so, i'm rotting bored at work cos my boss does not come in till one hour later. decided that i'll share my story on how i came about deciding on SEP.

You know the feeling when your friends start leaving you and go overseas to study?

I always thought to myself how is it like to grow up in a far-away land. There was always this envy. Maybe cos i've always been more of the independent sort. I ever asked my father if i could study overseas, and his answer was 'Go and get a scholarship lor.' ok... apparently, i wasn't smart enough. so, here i am stuck in NUS.

Upon entering NUS, I found out that perhaps, it ain't that bad. I realised that there were many opportunities for students to go abroad. Student Exchange Programme was one of them that didn't have such high requirements on CAP and so, I decided that i will want to go for it. I applied for the school's Language Preparation Programme, in which students opt for either French or German. At that time, I was only interested in French. However, i placed German as my second cos i was scared they wouldn't even offer either to me. In the end, I was offered German. It didn't take long for me to accept the offer, most probably because, going to Europe was a bigger dream to me. My first German module, German 1, nearly killed me cos the course was so intensive. But i liked it. It was fun to learn a new language. So, i moved on to German 2, 3, 4.

Why a third language? Perhaps, it is because i've always had the idea that acquiring a third language will boost my CV. Why a European language? Like i said, going to Europe was a dream to me. My brothers were always flying to Europe for training the past few years. Stories from them were so interesting. I wanted to experience it myself. I ambitioned to stay there for a few years, to work there. To do so, the first criteria was to speak their language. Besides, since NUS offers the chance, why not? It's so expensive to learn a new language in an external centre.

After German 2, I went for immersion. It was like a try-out. When i landed in Frankfurt, the first thing that came to my mind was... 'WOW! i'm IN europe.' I was so excited! I stayed with a host family in Muenster. They're really nice people. The immersion programme consisted of German lessons, excursions to Bremen, Bonn, Cologne and other small towns. Maybe because it was the world cup season.. but the Germans really gave me a good impression. It was really interesting to have everyone around you speak a different language. It's like... i'm in another world. ok... i sound like a mountain tortoise. but it really is amazing!!!!!

I can go on and on about immersion cos obviously i enjoyed myself so much and i wanted to go back to Germany for more..

Anyway, i returned to Singapore and it was the applications period for SEP. I had intended to go for the summer semester because German universities' winter semester clashes with NUS's semesters. BUT... 'You can always go after graduation wat...' was my father's reply when i asked him again. After that, i dropped the idea. I didn't ask any other questions, didn't probe any further. I had to be really hard on myself. to drop the idea of doing exchange. i will always remember the effort i took to not pass by Central Forum during International Exchange Day, cos i didn't want to tempt myself. Of course, it didn't work out. Wanling took some brochures on Europe. cos she wanted to go Switzerland... and we looked at it during Film n History lecture. After much hesistation, I brought the matter up to my brother. 1 hour brother-sister talk. and i set my mind to it. i was going to Germany what ever it was.

As one from Rovers, the phrase 'talk is free' always lingers. Indeed, just saying 'i want to go to Germany for exchange' is simple. Going about to prepare for it was tiring. There were so many occasions when i just wanted to forget it. Applications, choosing universities, looking through countless German sites, interview, module mapping, etc... I must seriously thank my friends who were all so supportive and encouraged me to hang in there. It was also difficult when you have friends who keep asking you not to go. all i can say is thanks for appreciating my presence.

Before I got my acceptance package, there were still doubts. Insecurities... but when i received the email to ask me to collect my package, it was really like.... 'CONFIRMED'. I could finally start planning my flight, get my insurance done, and whatever other stuff. it's like... taking one step at a time, i'm getting things on my list checked.

Looking back, planning for exchange is really not an easy task. but i believe that it will all be worth it. I might suay suay kena the worst things in Germany. But like people say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I hope to return a stronger girl.

Lastly, i wanna tell my friends who have thoughts of going for exchange. My reason for exchange is so that i can master the German language. and i'm standing firm with it. It's the reason that keeps me going. Friends, if you want to go on exchange, think of why you want to go for exchange. Write them down on a piece of paper and keep it safe. You have your concerns. Write them down too. Research on how you can solve them. Eg. Finance: SEP award/ loan/ work part time/ etc. Homesick: MSN/ Skype/ etc... You'll come to realise that there will be ways to minimise your concerns/worries, and your reasons will keep you motivated. Abit cliche as if i'm trying to promote exchange (cos i'm working in NUS's International Relations Office), but really. It will be a once in a lifetime experience.

According to Michelle, who's been in Japan for almost 9 months, she said that for once, she's afraid of returning to Singapore. I hope that i will come to love Germany so much i want to stay there all my life.

kk... i hope that those who are still considering exchange will set their mind to go for it, after reading this long entry. My manager has given me my work and i should start on it.